My Gift to You

My Gift to You

"Born For This - Stephanie Mills (bonus track) - BeBe Winans"

A Note From Eve

Eve Ensler that is.  Yes, she is back with a one-woman show that is a must-see for women:  The Good Body.  As I read the note from Eve (http://thegoodbody.com/note.htm), oh could I ever identify with some of the expressions she uses to relay just how wrapped up most of us women are about our appearance and why it was time for her to speak out for the rest of us.  Just to wet your appetite, here are just a few sentences from the entire note:

In the midst of a war on Iraq, in a time of torture camps and daily bombings, when civil liberties are disappearing as fast as the ozone layer, when one out of three women in the world will be beaten or raped in her lifetime, why write a play about my stomach?

Maybe because my stomach is one thing I feel I have control over, or maybe because I have hoped that my stomach is something I could get control over… When a group of ethnically diverse, economically disadvantaged women in the United States was recently asked about the one thing they would change in their lives if they could, the majority of these women said they would lose weight… Maybe because my stomach has become the repository for my sorrow, my childhood scars, my unfulfilled ambition, my unexpressed rage… Maybe because, as the world rapidly divides into fundamentalist camps, reductive sound bites, and polarizing platitudes, an exploration of my stomach and the life therein has the potential to shatter these dangerous constraints.

The Good Body began with me and my particular obsession with my “imperfect” stomach.  I have charted this self-hatred, recorded it, tried to follow it back to its source…

I have been to more than forty countries in the last six years.  I have seen the rampant and insidious poisoning:  skin-lightening creams sell as fast as toothpaste in Africa and Asia; the mothers of eight-year olds in America remove their daughters’ ribs so they will not have to worry about dieting; five-year olds in Manhattan do strict asanas so they won’t embarrass their parents in public by being chubby; girls vomit and starve themselves in China and Fiji and everywhere…

…I am going to take a deep breath and find a way to survive not being flat or perfect.  I am inviting you to join me, to stop trying to be anything, anyone other than who you are…I was inspired by Marion Woodman, a great Jungian analyst, who gave me confidence to trust what I know.  She has said that “instead of transcending ourselves, we must move into ourselves.”

Tell the image-makers and magazine sellers and the plastic surgeons that you are not afraid.  That what you fear the most is the death of imagination and originality and metaphor and passion.  Then be bold and LOVE YOUR BODY.  STOP FIXING IT.  It was never broken.

Read the entire note; buy the book, and see the play.  It is time to join the Proud, the Few, the Confident.  The information you need is located at http://thegoodbody.com/schedule.htm.

What Price Beauty?

In appreciation of promoting Nigeria as a choice tourist country, the First Lady, Chief (Mrs.) Stella Obasanjo was appointed Nigeria’s Tourism Ambassador by former Minister of Culture and Tourism, Ms Boma Bromillow Jack… The Tide on-line, Oct 1, 2005


In as much as we have life we should never take things for granted while we still exist. Death is a degree every living soul would earn. When death comes, there is no question of waiting to right the wrong you have done, or put finishing touches to the projects that you are working on. While still leaving we should strive to do the best for humanity.  
–Dr. Femi Ajayi (columnist for NigeraWorld.com) 24 Oct 2005


This article started off being a litany of news reports about Mrs. Stella Obasanjo, First Lady of Nigeria.  But, as I compiled parts of stories I wanted to enter, the thought or idea of Beauty would not leave my mind.

I wonder did Mrs. Obasanjo know just how beautiful she was?  Or did she, like many of us, see her beauty only from the outside?  Whose definition or by what standard was she measuring herself?

Let me share with you a definition of beauty: the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit: loveliness; graceful, ornamental, or excellent quality; brilliant.

From the stories I’ve read, Mrs. Obasanjo fits this description.  But, possibly, it was something more than beauty that she was seeking.
ABUJA, Nigeria — Stella Obasanjo, the wife of Nigeria's president, died Sunday in Spain. She was 59.
Obasanjo, described as President Olusegun Obasanjo's "beloved wife," died after undergoing surgery, according to a brief statement signed by presidential spokeswoman Remi Oyo. No further details were given…  Twin Cities.com / Pioneer Press, Oct 24, 2005
There are fears that the First Lady, Mrs Stella Obasanjo, may have been a victim of medical malpractice as coroners investigating the possibility performed an autopsy yesterday on her body.
She died Sunday morning at Marbella Hospital in Malaga, Spain following complications arising from a cosmetic surgery she underwent to reduce fat from her body
In Stella's case coroners are investigating the possibility of medical malpractice, he said. She was admitted practically brain-dead early Sunday to a hospital in Marbella after being rushed there from Molding Clinic, where she had the cosmetic surgery, Garcia de Galvez said.
Molding Clinic, located in Puerto Banus, a posh district of Marbella in Spain's Costa del Sol resort area, issued a statement yesterday saying it has provided judicial authorities with all the information they have requested and that the "fundamental causes" of her death have not been determined. All Africa.com, Oct 24, 2005

It was not her brain that was being operated on; yet, it was the brain that is reported to have been dead on Sunday morning.  

But, prior to Sunday morning, she was asleep to the beauty that already existed in her.      Was she ill?      No.      According to the reports, that was not the reason for her surgery.  It was cosmetic.  Well let us define cosmetic:  an adjective coming from the Greek word “kosmetikos” meaning  skilled in adornment, from kosmein meaning to arrange, adorn -- done or made for the sake of appearance: as correcting defects esp. of the face <~ surgery>; decorative, ornamental; not substantive: superficial <~ changes>.


I found the following to express where some of Mrs. Obasanjo’s beauty could be seen:
…when President Obasanjo regained his freedom and in 1998 joined politics to contest the 1999 presidential race. She traversed the length and breadth of the country with her husband canvassing for votes. She was at the Jos convention of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) that produced Obasanjo as the party's presidential candidate in February 1999.
Speaking about her role during that convention, a founding member of the PDP in Plateau, Ambassador Yahaya Kwande, told a national newspaper in an interview that the First Lady was taller than her physical feature. "During the 1999 PDP convention, she worked throughout the night. She brought delegates to my house to feed. She maintained the dignity of her family by her unparalled humility," Kwande said. When Obasanjo was elected President and sworn-in, when the food they cooked together was ready, so to say, Stella was not one to be sent to the background. She hopped on to the office of First Lady perhaps to the discomfiture of the President who had told the nation that for him there was no such office.
The First Lady inaugurated the Child Care Trust Fund, her pet project, to take care of the less privileged. She visited orphanages and hospitals to donate gifts and render other support for those in need. She was also involved in other humanitarian and philantrophic gestures. In the discharge of her duties as First Lady and her work at the Villa, she used to refer to Vice President Atiku Abubakar, as her immediate boss... All Africa.com, Oct 28, 2005
In 1999, few months after her husband Chief Olusegun Obasanjo assumed office, as the civilian President of Nigeria, the first lady, Chief (Mrs.) Stella Obasanjo established the Child Care Trust (CCT) Foundation which sought to bring succor to the physically challenged children.
A mother herself, Mrs. Obasanjo worked very hard to ensure that joy, smiles and sunshine was brought into the life of these children she took off the streets...
During the commissioning, the first lady told the Hospital staff that, “when we launched the Child Care Trust in May 2000, we pledged to cater for the less privileged. The machine we are commissioning, is a product of our pledge.”Born in 1945, Stella Obasanjo loved life and her interest in the CCT was a manifestation of her desire to assist in the sustenance of life..
Called Mama by both staff, business associates and political allies, Mrs. Obasanjo received several awards which included The Achievement Award from Nigerians in the Diaspora, Woman of the Year from the women of the year organisation, while she also bagged chieftancy titles like Obongawan of Calabar and Yeye Oranmiyan of Ife…Nigeria Daily News, Oct 24, 2005

During the military dictatorship in Nigeria, 1995 to be precise, when General Obasanjo was jailed on trumped up charges of plotting to overthrow the government of the late General Sani Abacha, Stella showed courage by spearheading the struggle to release her husband. Despite threats to her life, she fought relentlessly to draw global attention to the injustice of her husband’s imprisonment. Wherever she went, she spoke out against the authoritarian rule of the then military regime, while calling for her husband’s release.
Stella became a noted figure in the international human rights community. On a number of occasions, she collected awards on behalf of her incarcerated husband, including the Frederich Ebert Foundation Award for Human Rights in Bonn, Germany, the Indira Gandhi Award and the Award for Peace given by Liberal International, Oxford, England. Her courage had not gone unrecognised at home. Stella was honoured with several chieftaincy titles, among which were the Yeye Oge of Oke-Ona Egba, Yeye ‘Luwa of Orile Owu, Yeye Tunluse of Owu-Isin in Kwara and Oga Nla Obirin Owu.
When she became Nigeria’s First Lady in 1999 following the election of her husband as president, Stella decided to establish a non-governmental organisation, Child Care Trust, to take care of the underprivileged, the motherless and physically and mentally retarded children, with a focus on girls. These groups of underprivileged children are usually neglected. According to her, they were often treated as if they were useless and seen as an affliction on their parents. Stalla interacted with so many of such children both nationally and internationally and was able to prove, as she had believed, that many of the children were intelligent and capable.
The former first lady was quoted as saying “Many of the underprivileged children if given the right care and love are capable of doing many positive things. They want to be appreciated. They do not see themselves as different from any other person.”  Wikipedia.org

She again rose in strong support of her husband and his mandate through prayer sessions to neutralise the prediction in 1999 that her husband would die before assuming office as Nigeria’s president.

The birthday that never was
Among the many things Stella couldn’t wait to come back to Nigeria for after she had finished her surgery in Spain was her 60th birthday which was due to hold next month in Abuja. In fact, her friends and relatives had almost concluded all the arrangements for the party before death pulled a fast one on them.
For those who believe that the first lady died after a liposuction (a cosmetic surgery in which localised areas of fat are removed from beneath the skin using a suction-pump device inserted through a small incision), she went under the knife to look ageless and more beautiful on her birthday. As a build-up to the party, Stella had concluded arrangement for a full-length interview with a Lagos-based celebrity magazine. She was also looking forward to the magazine publishing a special edition on her turning 60.

Although Stella was known to celebrate each of her birthdays in grand style, her 60th would have upped the ante in the social diary of the country. A manifest of all those involved in the planning of the event was not available as at press time but we learnt that it included big players in corporate Nigeria as well as some of her close friends. Members of her family too were said to be fully involved. So were the Child Care Trust and the Presidency.

Leading the pack of the powerful people involved in the planning was Managing Director of Nigerian Breweries Limited, Eze Festus Odimegwu. His name was on the invitation card that had been received by a few people as at the time of her death. Odimegwu and other heavyweights like Aliko Dangote, Otunba Mike Adenuga, Femi Otedola, Jim Ovia, Cecilia Ibru, Ndi Okereke-Oyiuke and Tony Elumelu had attended a surprise party for President Olusegun Obasanjo at Dodan Barracks, Lagos on Saturday March 5, 2005 to mark his 68th birthday.

Stella would have turned 60 on November 14, but the major events for her birthday were to hold on November 12 and 16. The first day would have witnessed the command live performance of Obaseki, a play written by Don Pedro Obaseki. It was to star Richard Mofe Damijo with a number of other Nollywood stars. The 16th would have witnessed a church service, which would be followed by a reception.

Some of her service awards include the following:
Africa Achievement Award... Los Angeles, USA, 2000.
Global Safe Motherhood Award… White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood, 2001.
Honourary Fellowship of the West African college of Nursing... The West African College of Nursing Liberia, 2001.
International Recognition Award on Women and AIDS... The Rainbow/PUSH Coalition and Citizens Education Foundation, Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A, 2000.
United Arab Emirates Foundation Prize for 2004... Executive Board of World Health Organisation/UAE Ministry of Health, 2004.  Independent Newspapers Limited, Oct 24, 2005

The tribute I personally found that says volumes about Her Excellency Stella is All Africa.com’s article “Stella, Our Stella” by Josephine Lohor, Oct 28, 2005.  
Ms. Lohor opens her column with “A lot has been written and said about her before and after she died. But the best way to know more about the late First Lady, Mrs Stella Obasanjo, is through people she met and lives she touched.”


You cannot write about someone’s death without knowing something about their life.  I did not ever have the opportunity of meeting Mrs. Obasanjo, but it appears that she fought to live a beautiful life.  I hope that, at some moment, she did “get it” and realize through the warmth of her land and the eyes of her people, just how beauty-full it truly was.



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